Bottle o Smoke

"God is killing those soldiers in Iraq.  Blowing them to smithereens in punishment.  Pursuant to his wrath, pursuant to his vengeance, pursuant to his righteousness,” 

-Reverend Phelps on American Solders Killed in Iraq

Just when you think American conservatives have gone far enough, they come out from hiding and…WHAM!    Yesterday I watched at how some religious assholes did something just plain wrong and utterly sick.  Something that when you see it leaves you so baffled you just turn to the person next to you in complete and utter bewilderment and ask, with a stupefied face; “…why?”

I’m talking here about reverend Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church has about 100 members.  Together with his members, Reverend Phelps has been preaching the word of the lord as he pickets and protests for those homosexual American Solders who have died in the Iraq War.  His church gained notoriety in the 1990s by picketing the funerals of people who died from AIDS.  He also has a websites www.godhatesgays.com and www.godhatesamerica.com, where he actually has a list of people who are in hell, a few being:

·        “Coretta Scott King is in hell with her husband, Martin Luther King”

·        “Your precious Virginia coal miners are in hell” and I have to add:

·        “Pope John Paul II, the Great Pedophile Pope, is in hell”.

But aside from this, he also likes to make public announcements.  Phelps basically brings his church to the funeral of these deceased solders who were killed in action and together, they taunt the grieving family with signs that say “Fags doom” or God hates your tears”.  They do this in Funerals people…Funerals!  They to this to further state how they feel America is being punished for their liberal view on Homosexuals and allowing them to be in the army.  They do this in front of a grieving family, with no remorse.  And the whole time Reverend Phelps does this, I promise you he is smiling.

All this coming from a man of god.   

Steps are being done to try to restrict these protests but reverend Phelps states that under the constitution, they are not doing anything wrong because of their freedom of speech.  Phelps, 76, a law school graduate, vows to challenge the laws in court and says he’ll win. He says a 90-foot limit is reasonable, but he would sue over anything farther.

"We’re going to get rich off the stuff they’re doing," he says.  "This is finger-lickin’ good."

Revered Phelps:  I want to fight you. 

Seriously, I want to get you into a ring, and beat the living shit out of you, you fucking guy.  I challenge you to a fight, you pathetic, sad, deranged 76-year-old excuse for a preacher.  I challenge you to a duel with swords even, you sick son of a bitch, who actually has the audacity to do what you do, seeing others suffer the loss of a loved one really gets you of, you sick fuck.  Revered Phelps, I slap you across the face with a glove, indicating, again, that I want to fight you, this time with pistols.  You are a waste of space in this earth, everything that comes out of your mouth is not the word of god, it is poison.  I wish you nothing but bad things, and a very, very painful death.   Seriously though, I really do want to fight you. 

Sorry, that was my chance to vent. And I took it.  People say the world is going to hell, and people like revered Phelps believe this is so, with everyone one with a liberal thought in the front of the line.  Some are finally fighting back.  Recently, A group consisting of around 5,000 calling themselves the Patriot Guard Riders is trying to shield mourners from cruel jeers by adherents of a tiny fundamentalist church who picket military funerals. 

“The most important thing we can do is let families know that the nation cares," said Don Woodrick, the biker group’s Kentucky captain. "When a total stranger gets on a motorcycle in the middle of winter and drives 300 miles (480 kilometers) to hold a flag, that makes a powerful statement."

Mail order brides is a mind blowing concept.  For those who havent heard of it, the name says it all.  Basically, you go online, pick out a wife from another country, and in 6-8 weeks she will show up on your doorstep.  Think of it as having an "easy button" like those staples advertisements.  However nothing gets upsets me more of than stories of women from Asia or Europe being "bought" by a sketchy American man to be there wife.  Well actually anything negative about Filipino’s and Filipino culture pisses me off more.

So you can imagine my supreme discomfort for the world when I read about our apparent culture and reasons why Filipino women make amazing wives for foreigners.  Since I’m at work and have nothing better to do (except work?  Your kidding me right…) lets break some down shall we?

"Filipino women are domesticated and submissive by nature.  They are willing to sacrifice careers for family".
-Not true.  I actually don’t know any pinays who are domesticated, there actually quite useless when it comes to "domestication" because there too busy finding uuhh…damn what are those called again…oh yeah JOBS.  In fact, new statistics show that over the past 5 years, the number of women who have become employed has increased dramatically.  There is only one woman I know who wants to be a country club wife, and i wont name her coz she’s…well…dumb. 

"Husbands are providers while wives are meant to stay home and clean"
-This reminds me of the time when Woodrose School for girls banned basketball and soccer because they deemed it "un-lady like"…coz there fucking stupid.  While this is the social norm of society everywhere, I’d like to think that we’ve moved past this…I for one bask in the idea of my wife making more money that me, it’s kind of kinky. 

"Filipino Women are naturally romantic"
-I tend to agree here.  Filipino’s (not just women but men too), are suckers for Cheese.  Were all about taking the cheese to the next limit.  We love the cheesy lines and the cheesy romance, why do you think we have so many movies with so much crying in them!?  But are we naturally romantic?  If we were maybe we would have elected Aga for President (probably would have won if he ran too…), not that fucking action moron who we elected a few years back…

Wow.  I had no idea that the reason I could not find a stable relationship back home because all this time, I was going for the more educated, motivated, and confident woman!  My god! I realize now after reading this article that all my past relationships were with women who wanted job, who wanted to learn, and above all, who wanted to become independent.  How the mighty winds of fortune change!  Please!  Bring on the girls with low self-esteem who cannot think for themselves and want nothing more than to stay at home, cook, eat, make babies, and care for them. If there personalities are like this, then just imagine how they must be in the sack…wow…like having sex with a log.    Maybe now with this information, I can finally find myself a filipina bride…and it won’t even have to be mailed to me.  In fact, why stop at a mail order bride, why not Make a bride…robots man…. robots…

The sad part here is that there are many Filipino women who are in fact "mail order brides” Many of them learn about there husbands through email and dream of a life outside the Philippines but instead find nothing more but domestic abuse, prostitution, and in many cases death.  Mail order brides are just another form of prostitution, and it disgusts me. 

Who knows, maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe those old Woodrose alumni are right and Filpinas are submissive and are domesticated.  Maybe women who play sports are un-lady like.  And maybe the real reason why I cannot find a real relationship with a filipina is they realize faster than others that the soft, spongy bump on my left testicle is not really a "G-Spot for men" and that only "special people" have it. 

I apologize, that last comment was rude, disgusting, sexist, gross yet somewhat funny, but also entirely false.  Very much so like the subject of mail order brides. 

While reading the back-story about the Hutus and the Tutsi tribes in Rwanda, I came across an interesting piece of the Bible.  Check this out:

"Much of  [Anthropologist John Hanning] Speke’s Journal of the Discovery of the Source of the Nile is devoted to descriptions of the physical and moral ugliness of Africa’s "Primitive races", in whose condition he found "a Strikingly existing proof in the holy scriptures".  For his text, Speke took the story in Genesis 9, which tells how Noah, when just six hundred years old and had safely skippered his ark over the flood to dry land, got drunk and passed out naked in his tent.  On Emerging from his oblivion, Noah Learned that his younger son Ham, had seen him naked; that Ham told his brothers Shem and Japheth, of the spectacle, and that Shem and Japheth had, with their backs chastley turned, covered the old man with a garment.  Noah responded by cursing the progeny of Ham’s son, Canaan, saying " A slave of slaves shall he be to his brothers!".  Amid the perplexities of Genesis, this is one of the most enigmatic stories, and it has been subjected to many bewildering interpretations-most notably that Ham was the original black man.  To the gently of the American south, the weird tale of Noah’s Curse justifies slavery, and to Speke and to Speke on his colonial contemporaries it spelled the history of Africa’s People".   
-Philip Gourevitch We Wish to Inform you that we will be killed with our families:  Stories from Rwanda. 

For those of you who do not believe this, check out the bible, I did after reading this.  Its all there:
20And Noah began to be a husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. 
24And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
27God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.

Wow.  Did any of you who guys back home who just read that take that all in?  The Bible…justifies slavery?  iiiiiinteresting.  But then again the Bible has been known to be one of the biggest paradoxes in the history of human origin.  Personally this whole thing seems kind of sketchy, but then again, so are catholic priests who like little altar boys.

While I am Roman Catholic and remain so this day, I cannot help but question the stories we read in the good book.  However, while I do think this passage is a little fucked up, I am not at all surprised by Noah’s behavior in the beginning of this passage, post apocalyptic flood.  He builds himself a fucking Vineyard for god’s sake…a Vineyard (lush).  And how many people were left on earth?  Not that many.  Also, think about it:  The man just saved the remnants of the human race along with most of its seemingly important Animals.  Yeah, He’s kind of a big deal, so EXCUUUSE me if he wants to party down and have a goblet of wine whist overseeing how his harem of Dodo birds flourish (and fast forward a zillion years? where are they now?!  obviously god thought them unworthy of life on earth..must have done something wrong I guess…or was it Darwinism…you decide).  Add the fact that he’s just about 400 or so years old and hasn’t died, its no wonder he passed out naked. 

But to Curse his younger son for telling his brothers that their father is passed out naked and drunk probably mumbling the incoherent nothingness of his "glory days"?  I dunno, seems over the edge that Noah would make Ham’s son the first slave, thus Ham the First Black man, Thus Bible = slavery good thing.     My interpretation?  Man I have no comment, I’m staying as far away from thisas possible…Maybe it was hot…you get hot when you drink wine…summer day, no fan or air conditioner…you gotta take some layers off.  Noah, your son was just trying to help your drunkan ass out right?!!?  Where is the bad thing here, save Noah’s binge drinking?!  Are you trying to tell me that the religiouos reasons why Slavery is a good thing is because Noah Woke up hungover and slighly embarrased of his previous nights behavior?  You’ve got to be fucking me.  At least Say Ham forgot to give his father toast or something…that i can buy. 

I call for the powers-that-be (or you) to please please give me some explanation to this bizarre tale.  Your move.

Due to rising opposition to her so called "state of emergency", President Arroyo has promised to "lift the state of national emergency at the earliest possible time".  Her statement came from the various people in government who have the bizarre idea that somehow, this "state of emergency" is somehow connected in some way to Martial Law back in the Marcos era…

Lets get something straight here people; in no way is this like Martial Law.  For example, those people or institutions that have been directly affected by this "state of emergency" are "allowed to seek legal recourse", Rallies have not been banned, and those rallies that have started have been broken up by peaceful means.  As far as I’m concerned, we still have civil liberties, there is no curfew, and I don’t hear about military personnel patrolling the streets arresting political opposition.  In fact, the political opposition is having a field day by shaving their heads to oppose GMA’s "State of Emergency".  This will only get them sunburned heads, odd stares when they’re in groups, and possibly significantly more or less sex (if their significant others are into that shit or not). 

People need to understand that the reason why were in a "state of emergency" is because of all the shit happening in the country.  We have rumored coups texed to us almost monthly that we fail to understand the full threat of what that would actually do to our nation should one actually succeed.  The fact that there was an attempted one (despite it being pathetic and sad) last Friday should wake people up to the serious political breakdown that has been plaguing our country ever since WWII (Actually you can probably trace it back to when Aguinaldo basically had Bonifacio killed…bastard).  Oh and lets not forget that we’re a third world country, our unemployment rate is growing, as well is the number of street children and un educated. 

You want to promote freedom of speech?  I’m all for that.  But at the same time, lets also promote freedom from ignorance.  Too many people in the Philippines fight for a cause that they only know one side of the story to.  Others fight for a cause on blind faith. 

You want to Promote Freedom of Speech?  How about Freedom from Apathy?  Too many times I find myself in a table full of intelligent people talking over beer and cigarettes about the woes of our country.  Yet that is where it ends.  Once the last cigarette or beer is finished we sigh and say how we cant wait to get out of this place.  Others in Higher places are too busy polishing their sports cars, having affairs, or too busy watching the new season of "the Bachelor" or "the OC" to fully care about what’s going on.  Be honest, when was the last time you even looked at a street child when he or she knocks on your window.  We give them the knock back and turn up the music. 

The fact is, were in a "state of emergency" all the time.  At least once a year we hear about coup attempts (and that’s being VERY liberal), and basically we’ve been a mess since WWII (again debatable back to Aguinaldo).  I would have loved to be there when god made the Philippines and man went back to god and said…"uuuh…we don’t want it…infrastructures fucked…fix it".  Understand, I love my country, I want to fix it, and I want to help people.  But people need to help themselves and learn…and above all, they have to want to. 

"What use is freedom of speech to a person who never went to school? What will he say? Our Armed Forces have a term for state of emergency. They call it full alert. And that is what all good citizens do, be on constant full alert"
-Alejandro R. Roces
The Philippine Star 03/02/2006